Friday, May 7, 2021

Taking on Challenging Responsibilities vs Trying to be a Superwoman

What is the problem with the following advice:
"Don't get too proud, she said, of your capabilities at handling anything — or soon people will expect you to handle everything. The world is always eager to find someone who can handle everything (because the world is lazy, and doesn't want to do the work) and soon you will be responsible for more than you can manage. You will be doing more than what is fair, or even sensible — and you will be doing thousands of things that you were never designed to do.

Don't get seduced by the idea that you are some kind of Superwoman — as much as the world wants to put that honorific upon you. (Telling women that they are superheroes is a trick the world has always played, for making women do all the work.)
Trying to be Superwoman is not worth the toll that it will take on your life, or on your energies, or on your relationships. You will end up doing everything, yes — but you will do none of it well, and you will do much of it with resentment, and you will end up feeling burned-out and used, and living a life that has lost its direction and its passion.
Learn what really matters to you, and do only THAT. Learn to say NO. And Let the rest of it Go."

Very wrong and misleading paradigm. When I used to complain about my growing responsibilities (only brother of four sisters at 4th number in a middle class where all groceries was my responsibility from class 5), my mother used to say the following:
جن کے رتبے ہیں سوا، ان کو سوا مشکل ہے
Greater we are in position, greater are our responsibilities.
My growth to my current level is based on not shying away from additional responsibilities. I take initiatives and take on responsibilities that are currently not in my job description. One has to be proactive in anticipating new challenges and taking measures beyond the call of duty. This actually has pulled me into greater and greater positions of responsibilities

Q: Taking responsibility is another thing but taking burdens, of others is another thing. however as a woman sometimes we take more burden on us then required compromising on health, rest and personal wellbeing...

As we grow old, and as we rise in our stature, expectations of those connected with us begin to increase. Number of direct and indirect dependents increase. Our skills for managing large number of responsibilities need to increase, we need to learn to trust and delegate responsibilities. This is a learning process. We need to delegate certain family responsibilities to our children, spouse or other contacts. Similarly for professional responsibilities. Of course, some of the delegations do not work out. We need to learn to identify and monitor and take corrective action promptly. Trial and error process


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