Learning and Life: Parental Concern about Economic Future of our Child

I often see parents excessively worried about the economic future of their child. They are often projecting their own insecurities and their own inadequacies on their children despite a huge difference in their situation as a child and their child's current situation. Their over-worrying about the economic future of child belies their faith and eeaman in Allah as Raziq. In their eagerness to protect their children from any adversity that they may face in future, they destroy their confidence, numb their creativity, and kill their enterprising skills which are the very skills required for survival in the unpredictable future. This post explains the misconceptions in this regard.
[Presented at ERDC Seminar on Economic Future of Your Child at KSBL, January 28m 2018]

Role of "Raaziq"

The way I see the parents worrying about the children's future is surprising. Forty years ago, in Karachi there were only two engineering colleges and two medical colleges. Today there are over 17 engineering colleges and around 15 medical schools, and there are over 30 universities. Today, any average student can get admission in whatever field he likes. The scenario is quite different from the exclusive opportunities available in the past. Yet I see the parents subjecting even a child age as small as 4-5 years with extended tuitions for preparing for admissions in God knows what school. I have seen of a kid of 4th grade being forced to attend tuitions after the school for 3+ hours and the parents paying over Rs 18000 to the tutor. This is extremely crazy. Robbing the child from his playtime, socialization time, and reflection time is criminal. I believe this attitude represents wavering of faith and eemaan in the creator being "raaziq". This craziness is coming from parents who are projecting their frustrations and "mehroomis" on to the children and are going overboard in their effort to give them a more prosperous future. They seem to be trying to assume the role of "raaziq" when they think that are determining the abundance that a child may have in future!!!!

Education as a Source of Future Affluence

We kill the essence of education, the moment we connect it with the earning potential. We need to clarify that education is not for making money. The goals of education are much broader than simply earning. By focusing on money, we tell the child that money is more important than education. As there are more efficient and faster ways of making money than education, so the child ignores are exhortation for reading and writing and considers them to be irrelevant to the task of amassing money. They simply go through the motions of acquiring the degrees as just a necessary evil that needs to be circumvented. Then we become worried that the child is not taking interest. We must orient the child towards to real purpose of education.

Self Confidence

The key personality trait required by the child while growing up is his self-confidence. Parental judgments emanating from their own insecurities and adverse experience are responsible for killing the very self-confidence that would help the child when he grows up in fighting any adversity and unpredictability in life.

See also: How Parental Judgments can Shatter a Child: Self Fulfilled Prophecies

Furthermore, comparison with siblings, friends and cousins further destroys their confidence:

See also Harmful Effects of Comparing Siblings and Children

Over-protection, excessive monitoring and not having faith in the abilities of the child also destroys the confidence of the child and his creativity and innovation that would enable him to deal with unpredictability of life.

Choosing the Future Career of our Child

Trying to search for a career with great scope that my child should choose is foolish and counter productive. The success in life comes from hard work. It does not come from the choice of career. If we do not allow the child to discover the passion of his life, he would never be able to find the niche where he can put in the desired time and effort that would take him to the top.