Friday, May 1, 2015

Rememberance of My Father and Loved Ones: Every day is Father's Day and Mother's Day

Our love for the father gives us support for every day of our lives for a long time even after they have gone for years.
Matriculation of my father Ahsan Hyder:
From L-R:
Sitting: Syed Ikram Hyder(great-grandfather), 
Syed Ab Ghani Hyder (grandfather)
Standing: Sultan Hyder (Rummi)-Rasheed Hyder-
Ahsan Hyder-Zaheer Hyder-Jarrar Hyder
Prof Dr Zaeem Jaffery of LUMS, who left this world a few years ago, surprised me when he told me in 2000-01 that his father (Syed Hasan Jaffery) passed away six years earlier, and not a day passes when he does not remember him. I could not comprehend the enormity of this till I lost my father (Ahsan Hyder) in 2003.

It has been 11 years now and not a day passes that I do not remember him. Initially, this remembrance was accompanied by a piercing pain, a pang in my heart and a lump in my throat. However, now this remembrance is more mellowed and contains warmth, softness, and support, as explained below:

Picture Legend:
My father Ehsaan Hyder (standing in the middle) with his degree from Aligarh University in 1935 (or was it after his matric?). (b. 1917- d. 2003). Sitting on his right: My grandfather Abdul Ghani Hyder  (d. 1967). Sitting on his left: My grandfather's father Syed Ikram Hyder Naqshbandi (d. July 1942 at Siharanpur). All those standing with my father were graduates of Aligarh University. They were his cousins and brother: Standing from left to right: Sultan Hyder (my father's younger brother aka Rummi d. 2001), Rasheeduddin Hyder (my father's cousin and brother in law, d. 2002), Ehsaan Hyder (my father), Jarrar Hyder (my father's cousin d. ~2000s (?)), Zaheer Hyder (Achhay d. ~1952?).
 I recall him at odd moments in ordinary daily events which bring flashes in my mind of his personality his likes, dislikes, the way he will stand, will wear clothes, will look, will sit, and other small actions. For instance, when someone picks up the tea cup will remind me of how he would pick that up; when someone tilts and swings the chair will remind me how he would stop us from doing that, when someone will be praying will remind me of how he used to stand up, when I polish my shoes will remind me of the lesson in polishing excellence that he gave, when I comb the hair of my youngest will remind me of how he used to hold my face and would comb my hair, when I put on the tie will remind me of how he taught me, when someone after ironing will not take the plug out from the socket will remind me of the precaution that he mentioned, when someone will leave the lights/fans on and no one is in the room will remind me of his lessons in conservation, and on and on.
May Allah give the departed souls of such role models, the highest of abodes in the hereafter.
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ; --- A Psalm of Life by Henry W. Longfellow (1807-1882)

Here I list some of my posts that describe the role models and their guidance:

Personal examples of strive for excellence from my father: 
How to teach love for language and culture:
How to search for role models around you; my father, phuppa, uncle and mother:

How my grandmother (nani) and others provided a taste of our traditions and culture:
Learning interpersonal interactions and spreading happiness and laughter around:

Strive for Excellence from my teacher

Family - Life 

Family - Parental Counseling 

Family-Literature and Leadership

Family - History

Family - At What Cost (4)

Family - IT and Excellence

Family - Higher Education 

Family - School Education 


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10 comments:

  1. JavaidMay 1, 2015 at 9:45 AM

    Great Post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SMKAZMay 1, 2015 at 11:50 AM

    Highly commendable effort.

    Please keep spreading goodness as you have been doing through absorbing thoughts in the referred links.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dr Irfan HyderMay 1, 2015 at 3:18 PM

      Need to document your family tree effort also sometime.

      Delete
  3. NasrMay 1, 2015 at 1:42 PM

    Sir you are always a source of inspiration for us, keep it up!

    God bless you..

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 1, 2015 at 10:05 PM

    so blessed to have all these advises and experiences in writing. thanks to you mamoo. i am also thinking of starting a blog.
    Rabia

    ReplyDelete
  5. Saad MehboobMay 2, 2015 at 6:55 PM

    Really like the way you describe how we remember our beloved ones when they pass away. 1st with grief, then remembering what they told us on a particular occasion. That is the way I will be remembered some time later. What I would like is people to remember me for the good things done THROUGH me and forgave and pray for forgiveness for the wrong doings .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dr Irfan HyderMay 2, 2015 at 8:10 PM

      People will remember someone only if one does good "selflessly".

      Delete
    2. Dr Irfan HyderMay 2, 2015 at 8:12 PM

      See my post on secret of happiness: one simple rule

      Delete

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