Saturday, December 26, 2015

Parenting and Physical/Corporal Punishment

In my experience typical justifications for beating the kids turn out to be flimsy excuses pulled out from scriptures (Hadeeth regarding prayers) and out of context as explained below.
A parent typically beats the kid when he is angry and not in his senses.  When the parent is irritated, frustrated, or feeling weak due to some illness, or may be angry due to fight with spouse/boss can make the otherwise reasonable parent vent his/her frustration and beat the kid.

Parents do not beat the kid when they are cool minded or in their senses. They beat their kids when their egos get hurt which happens when children refuse to obey their parents. The cause is not the violation of rule but the violation of ego!

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Harmful Effects of Comparing Siblings and Children

Biggest torture (zulm) on a child that can be done by a parent is "comparing the child with a sibling or some other child".
For example here is the complaint of a mother of two children:  
"Comparison starts as early as one month;
● He was active, but this child is so weak...
● He walked so early,  but this child is still not trying...
● He started to speak so early, but this child still cannot babble...
and then later on:
● He was more loving and attached, but this child never stays with us....

4 Attributes of Marital Relationships that can Build or Destroy

By Arif Masoud
[A renowned architect, motivator, and a greatly admired faculty member of CIIT,  Islamabad. His love in creating beautiful designs from deep appreciation of nature is visible from the architecture of Islamabad Monument at Shakarparian.]
.... Four attributes of a  "Marital relationship" (among others) which either build or destroy it:
... 1)   Ego
... 2)   Expectation
... 3)   Possessiveness
... 4)   Forgiveness